FORK_LIFT LAND'S BUTT-HEAD OF THE WEEK!!

OK, let's take a look at this asshole Bin Laden for a second. He hides in caves, moves every couple of days to avoid capture and/or asassination, and probably smells worse than a gym full o' cabbies, and he thinks WE'RE the bad guys? Besides, I keep hearin' about how smart this scrotum-head is, so I figgered the ol' Sensei should probably drop a little knowledge on his sorry ass...

Yo Osama, or, the way you hide out, maybe I should call you BITCH Laden, you're supposed to be some kinda terror master-mind, but I don't think you really did yer homework. If ya did, you would have seen a few reasons why Americans are NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!!

1) Do they have TV is your cave? Maybe ya threw a dish up top, so you could catch CNN, or Golden Girls reruns or something. If ya had watched just ONE NFL GAME, ya would've seen a buncha good ol' beer-bellied Kowalskis out there, with no shirts on, in 10-below weather, drinking cold beer, all for a GAME that THEY WEREN'T EVEN PLAYING!!! You really want us to give these palookas rifles, and send 'em out lookin' for you?

2) We're the U.S.of A, we invented the WWF, NASCAR, demolition derby, monster trucks, BattleBots, and some other cool stuff. WE LIKE FUCKING THINGS UP FOR ENTERTAINMENT!!! Now we actually have a reason to go blow things up? We'll just send a few Billy Bobs over to Afghanistan with some explosives, and straighten your ass RIGHT OUT!!!!

3) Of all the Americans you decide to fuck with, you pick NEW YORKERS??? NEW YORKERS???!!! The little old ladies on the buses are tougher than anyone YOU got, and now you've PISSED US OFF!!!!! Your worst nightmare should be that ol' Rudy Giuliani puts an army helmet on top of the ol' comb-over, becomes a General, and we just close down NY for a while, and tell the rest of the country...

"Listen, guys, thanks for the support and good wishes. WE GOT THIS ONE!!!"

I don't think there's a single New Yorker who wouldn't come along to your God-forsaken little corner of the world just to KICK YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE ASS!!! And oh, the guy in front on the fork-lift? That's me.

Till then, Osama, you're my BUTT-HEAD OF THE WEEK!!!

EDIT, 10/2005:Three years later, we still haven't caught this asshole, because we've got a bigger asshole in the White House. In fact, before he's done, he'll be responsible for more dead Americans than Bin Laden. I supported the invasion of Afghanistan to persue Bin Laden, someone who attacked the United States. Someone who had neither attacked us, nor had the means to? Not so much.


BUTT-HEAD OF THE WEEK!!!!! Here's a new, fun-filled, action-packed, bio-degradable part of FORK-LIFT LAND!!! There is such butt-headed behavior in the world, that it is necessary to give one such individual the dubious honor of being FORK-LIFT LAND'S BUTT-HEAD OF THE WEEK!!! The winner (or loser, depending on how you look at it), gets no prizes, no parting gifts, and no home version of our game.
	GOT ANY NOMINEES? fork-lift@mailcity.com Drop me a line, and if I deem your butt-head worthy of honor, you will have a FORK-LIFT license bestowed upon you!
	THIS WEEK: COULD THERE BE ANY DOUBT????? OK, let's take a look at this asshole Bin Laden for a second. He hides in caves, moves every couple of days to avoid capture and/or asassination, and probably smells worse than a gym full o' cabbies, and he thinks WE'RE the bad guys? Besides, I keep hearin' about how smart this scrotum-head is, so I figgered the ol' Sensei should probably drop a little knowledge on his sorry ass... Yo Osama, or, the way you hide out, maybe I should call you BITCH Laden, you're supposed to be some kinda terror master-mind, but I don't think you really did yer homework. If ya did, you would have seen a few reasons why Americans are NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH!!! 1) Do they have TV is your cave? Maybe ya threw a dish up top, so you could catch CNN, or Golden Girls reruns or something. If ya had watched just ONE NFL GAME, ya would've seen a buncha good ol' beer-bellied Kowalskis out there, with no shirts on, in 10-below weather, drinking cold beer, all for a GAME that THEY WEREN'T EVEN PLAYING!!! You really want us to give these palookas rifles, and send 'em out lookin' for you? 2) We're the U.S.of A, we invented the WWF, NASCAR, demolition derby, monster trucks, BattleBots, and some other cool stuff. WE LIKE FUCKING THINGS UP FOR ENTERTAINMENT!!! Now we actually have a reason to go blow things up? We'll just send a few Billy Bobs over to Afghanistan with some explosives, and straighten your ass RIGHT OUT!!!! 3) Of all the Americans you decide to fuck with, you pick NEW YORKERS??? NEW YORKERS???!!! The little old ladies on the buses are tougher than anyone YOU got, and now you've PISSED US OFF!!!!! Your worst nightmare should be that ol' Rudy Giuliani puts an army helmet on top of the ol' comb-over, becomes a General, and we just close down NY for a while, and tell the rest of the country... *"Listen, guys, thanks for the support and good wishes. WE GOT THIS ONE!!!"* I don't think there's a single New Yorker who wouldn't come along to your God-forsaken little corner of the world just to KICK YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE ASS!!! And oh, the guy in front on the fork-lift? That's me. Till then, Osama, you're my BUTT-HEAD OF THE WEEK!!! EDIT, 10/2005:Three years later, we still haven't caught this asshole, because we've got a bigger asshole in the White House. In fact, before he's done, he'll be responsible for more dead Americans than Bin Laden. I supported the invasion of Afghanistan to persue Bin Laden, someone who attacked the United States. Someone who had neither attacked us, nor had the means to? Not so much.
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