FORK-LIFT LAND'S ROCK FLICKS!!!

Now, ya might wonder, "Yo, sinsei, what makes a flick ROCK honestly and truly?" Well, I'll tell ya, it's gotta feel like ROCK! Just havin' a high body count or a buncha nood chix ain't gonna cut it, just havin' stuff like that don't make it rock, know what I'm sayin'?
So, here are some examples of ROCK FLIX, which aren't too hard to find...

HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS - Robert Wuhl swings out-of-bounds as Newbomb Turk, leader of a car club filled with motor-heads and basic miscreants. It's got Michelle Pfeiffer and Fran Drescher there, but it ain't too much of a babe-fest. Cool cats take on the local squares on the last night their hang-out is open...VOLARE!!!

SLAP SHOT - Just the best damn hockee flick ever made!!! Hanson Bros. make utter brutality ROCK! Jerry Houser's Dave "Killer" Carlson is a mild-mannered ass-kicker, and Paul Newman stars as coach/ringmaster Reg Dunlop. I DON'T EVER WANNA HEAR LADY OF SPAIN AGAIN!!!

In fact, click on the "Slap Shot" Poster down and to yer left, and hear some of what I'm talkin' about!!!

KEVIN SMITH FLICKS - It's all good here. Startin' with "Clerks", featurin' the most tender love song ever, "Berserker", then ya got "Mallrats", "Chasing Amy", and "Dogma". These flicks are dialogue-heavy, rapid-fire laugh-out-loud beauties, and Smith's Silent Bob teams up with Jason Mewes' Jay to form the glue that holds these flicks together as a burned-out Greek Chorus to the tragicomic coings-on.

In fact, click on the "Clerks" Poster down and to yer left, and get a taste of what I'm talkin' about!!!

JAMES BOND - Yeeeeaaahhh...Started with "Dr. No", highlighted with "Thunderball" and "Goldfinger", the dude with a license to kill kicked ass, got laid, and saved the world in an hour and a half. ROCK baddies included Goldfinger, Odd Job, Jaws, Blofeld, too many to mention.

ELVIS FLIX - He was shagadelic before Austin Powers was even BORN! The King could sneer, swivel and ROCK his way through some God-awful flicks, and a coupla good ones (Love Me Tender, King Creole). Ultra-ROCK is uber-babe Ann-Margaret showin' the chix how to pout while old El' rips through "What'd I Say".

BOGIE - His butts had no filter, his whiskey had no chaser, his heart had no remorse. He could waste Cagney in "Public Enemy", then give up the girl in "Casablanca". Also...

CAGNEY - He could kick ass, then be a cowboy, then a song-and-dance man. Bonus ROCK: Always got credit for "You dirty rat...", which he never said.

WWII FLIX - Ya had the guy from Brooklyn who always got wasted, the kid who was too young to die who always got wasted, the tough-as-nails sargeant who always got wasted, the asshole who saves the whole platoon, showing he was a good egg after all but still always gets wasted...

BLAXPLOITATION - Max Julien in "The Mack" was a pimp who loved his momma. Richard Roundtree was that black private dick who was a sex machine to all the chix...SHAFT!!! James Brown as Slaughter, Fred Williamson as Hammer, and Pam Grier leadin' a whole generation through puberty. They took on the takers, pushed the pushers, and were stone playas!!! And yo, Goldie was dressin' like a bum, till he won "Mack Of The Year"...

ARNOLD FLIX - Arnold is THE MAN, when he wants to be. Nobody else could run up a body count, kickin' ass and deadpannin' one-liners like the Terminator. Coolest riffs include both Terminator flicks, "Commando", "Total Recall", "Running Man", etc. BEST ROCK - in "Raw Deal, right before he roars into the Mob's gravel pit, rainin' Hellfire on the whole damn family, he stops to pop "Satisfaction" into the tape deck!!!

REPO MAN - The real McCoy! Harry Dean Stanton wails, givin' the gospel of the Repo Man, while Emilio Estevez is smoldering ROCK throughout. Bonus ROCK - it was produced by Mike Nesmith!!!

RAT PACK FLIX - "Ocean's 11", and "Robin and the 7 Hoods". Frankie, Dino and Co. swing their way through these two classics, swiggin' martinis and slippin' in one-liners the whole way...they truly WERE "The Summit"...RING-A-DING-DING!!!

SATISFACTION - Yeah, they tried to re-name this puppy "Girls Of Summer", and bill Julia Roberts and Liam Neeson over Justine Bateman, but it was Justine, doin' her own singin' and actin', playin' a ROCK CHICK with painful abandon!!!

Now that ya got an idea, you may ask...WHAT IS THE MOST ROCK FLICK OF ALL TIME???

PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE - G'head, pick a fave scene from this ROCKER...Pie-pan flyin' saucers, Bela Lugosi breakin' out the ol' cape from mothballs one last time (Bonus ROCK:Bela croaked durin' the filmin' of this beaut, so a housepainter finished up the flick, just pullin' the cape up over his eyes).

Also, the great Tor Johnson, a flamin' spaceship commander ("Bring the Giant here, that I may...get a look at him"), wasp-waisted Vampira, directed by ROCK GOD Ed Wood Jr.

I ain't puttin' this over as a definitive list, Lordy no. Hell, I missed out on "Bronx Tale", "Midnight Run", "The Producers" and a whole ass-load of other ROCK FLIX, which I may come back to, if I see youse guys (and gals) watchin' too many chick flix.

Now then, getcha ass to Blockbuster, and DIG IT!!!


ROCK FLICKS!!! OK, fork-lift apprentices, pull up yer parkin' brakes, lower yer blades, cut yer engines, and DIG!!! Now I know youse guys like ta hang out an' watch the ol' boob tube from time to time, but what can ya do when all that's on is a Kathie Lee marathon? Ya gotta get ta some ROCK FLICKS!!!
	WHAT MAKES A FLICK ROCK??? Now, ya might wonder, "Yo, sinsei, what makes a flick ROCK honestly and truly?" Well, I'll tell ya, it's gotta feel like ROCK! Just havin' a high body count or a buncha nood chix ain't gonna cut it, just havin' stuff like that don't make it rock, know what I'm sayin'? So, here are some examples of ROCK FLIX, which aren't too hard to find... HOLLYWOOD KNIGHTS - Robert Wuhl swings out-of-bounds as Newbomb Turk, leader of a car club filled with motor-heads and basic miscreants. It's got Michelle Pfeiffer and Fran Drescher there, but it ain't too much of a babe-fest. Cool cats take on the local squares on the last night their hang-out is open...VOLARE!!! SLAP SHOT - Just the best damn hockee flick ever made!!! Hanson Bros. make utter brutality ROCK! Jerry Houser's Dave "Killer" Carlson is a mild-mannered ass-kicker, and Paul Newman stars as coach/ringmaster Reg Dunlop. I DON'T EVER WANNA HEAR LADY OF SPAIN AGAIN!!! In fact, click on the "Slap Shot" Poster down and to yer left, and hear some of what I'm talkin' about!!! KEVIN SMITH FLICKS - It's all good here. Startin' with "Clerks", featurin' the most tender love song ever, "Berserker", then ya got "Mallrats", "Chasing Amy", and "Dogma". These flicks are dialogue-heavy, rapid-fire laugh-out-loud beauties, and Smith's Silent Bob teams up with Jason Mewes' Jay to form the glue that holds these flicks together as a burned-out Greek Chorus to the tragicomic coings-on. In fact, click on the "Clerks" Poster down and to yer left, and get a taste of what I'm talkin' about!!! JAMES BOND - Yeeeeaaahhh...Started with "Dr. No", highlighted with "Thunderball" and "Goldfinger", the dude with a license to kill kicked ass, got laid, and saved the world in an hour and a half. ROCK baddies included Goldfinger, Odd Job, Jaws, Blofeld, too many to mention. ELVIS FLIX - He was shagadelic before Austin Powers was even BORN! The King could sneer, swivel and ROCK his way through some God-awful flicks, and a coupla good ones (Love Me Tender, King Creole). Ultra-ROCK is uber-babe Ann-Margaret showin' the chix how to pout while old El' rips through "What'd I Say". BOGIE - His butts had no filter, his whiskey had no chaser, his heart had no remorse. He could waste Cagney in "Public Enemy", then give up the girl in "Casablanca". Also... CAGNEY - He could kick ass, then be a cowboy, then a song-and-dance man. Bonus ROCK: Always got credit for "You dirty rat...", which he never said. WWII FLIX - Ya had the guy from Brooklyn who always got wasted, the kid who was too young to die who always got wasted, the tough-as-nails sargeant who always got wasted, the asshole who saves the whole platoon, showing he was a good egg after all but still always gets wasted... BLAXPLOITATION - Max Julien in "The Mack" was a pimp who loved his momma. Richard Roundtree was that black private dick who was a sex machine to all the chix...SHAFT!!! James Brown as Slaughter, Fred Williamson as Hammer, and Pam Grier leadin' a whole generation through puberty. They took on the takers, pushed the pushers, and were stone playas!!! And yo, Goldie was dressin' like a bum, till he won "Mack Of The Year"... ARNOLD FLIX - Arnold is THE MAN, when he wants to be. Nobody else could run up a body count, kickin' ass and deadpannin' one-liners like the Terminator. Coolest riffs include both Terminator flicks, "Commando", "Total Recall", "Running Man", etc. BEST ROCK - in "Raw Deal, right before he roars into the Mob's gravel pit, rainin' Hellfire on the whole damn family, he stops to pop "Satisfaction" into the tape deck!!! REPO MAN - The real McCoy! Harry Dean Stanton wails, givin' the gospel of the Repo Man, while Emilio Estevez is smoldering ROCK throughout. Bonus ROCK - it was produced by Mike Nesmith!!! RAT PACK FLIX - "Ocean's 11", and "Robin and the 7 Hoods". Frankie, Dino and Co. swing their way through these two classics, swiggin' martinis and slippin' in one-liners the whole way...they truly WERE "The Summit"...RING-A-DING-DING!!! SATISFACTION - Yeah, they tried to re-name this puppy "Girls Of Summer", and bill Julia Roberts and Liam Neeson over Justine Bateman, but it was Justine, doin' her own singin' and actin', playin' a ROCK CHICK with painful abandon!!! Now that ya got an idea, you may ask...WHAT IS THE MOST ROCK FLICK OF ALL TIME??? PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE - G'head, pick a fave scene from this ROCKER...Pie-pan flyin' saucers, Bela Lugosi breakin' out the ol' cape from mothballs one last time (Bonus ROCK:Bela croaked durin' the filmin' of this beaut, so a housepainter finished up the flick, just pullin' the cape up over his eyes). Also, the great Tor Johnson, a flamin' spaceship commander ("Bring the Giant here, that I may...get a look at him"), wasp-waisted Vampira, directed by ROCK GOD Ed Wood Jr. I ain't puttin' this over as a definitive list, Lordy no. Hell, I missed out on "Bronx Tale", "Midnight Run", "The Producers" and a whole ass-load of other ROCK FLIX, which I may come back to, if I see youse guys (and gals) watchin' too many chick flix. Now then, getcha ass to Blockbuster, and DIG IT!!!

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